GamesStrategyDominions 6 is the only strategy game where I can lead an army of dog men to victory with a squeaky toy godWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
GamesStrategyDominions 6 is the only strategy game where I can lead an army of dog men to victory with a squeaky toy godWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I’m writing here because I want you to know how fun and funny Dominions is, and give you perspective on the pretty low bar of buy-in to have fun with it. I’ll walk through rolling up a faction and talk a bit about the surprises that come along the way.
One of the most absolutely joyous things about Dominions is that—as a strategy game and as a wargame—it hinges around an absurd range of kinds of units, magic types, magical spell schools, items, terrains, and events. You can mix-and-match all manner of strange deities with now over 100 different fantastical nations based on societies drawn from history, fantasy, and mythology. There’s a Roman Empire and a Mythic Britain, sure, but there’s also a West African Spider Cult and a hidden kingdom of Amazons and a nation that’s just a hole into the underworld with infinite shades and ghosts pouring out.
Gods in Dominions 6 can also take new forms, and one of those is a golden rolling elephant statue that has gained divine authority because people worshiped it. Mine’s named Squeaky, because what does a dog love more than a giant toy to chase around? Nothing, I submit to you. A dog chasing something it should not catch is also, probably, on the list of funniest things.
Anyway, we give Squeaky powerful Astral magic, for doing sorcerous stuff, with a sideline in nature magic for summoning animals and earth magic for making itself even more invincible.
Image1of4Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Image1of4Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Image1of4
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Behold, Squeaky! All Hail!(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Always do a bit of scouting before you leap outwards.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those purple flags are a bad color. A Very bad color.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Those big dog-man-sized spears are really, really good at killing people before they can kill you.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The Dominions multiplayer community likes to go big, theorycrafting optimal strategies using in-depth plans of magical formula and such. Perfect combinations of magic artifacts and spellcasters using precise arrays of spells in order to obliterate their enemies, culminating in perfect use of incredible global spells that cause eternal winter or extinguish the sun or convert every tree in the world into a worshiper of your god.
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There is nothing optimal about my plan here, because I chose it to be funny and I am playing singleplayer. Do not @ me, Dominions heads, or I will send this army of dog-men to poo on your lawn.
A Dog’s breakfast
My funny adventure about dog people has turned out to be a slightly different story because the dog people are huge and can bite the head clean off an unarmored man. To top it off, Andramania’s trained troops come complete with a power that lets them fight in close formation despite their size. The men-at-arms with greatswords? The elite senatorial guard? They can pretty much bisect anything horse-size with ease.
Image1of6Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Image1of6Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Image1of6
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Everyone in white here is a priest. It’s a lot of priests.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The new, larger battlefields make proper armies much more impressive looking.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Things still get pretty chaotic once the fighting starts, though.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Tough pretenders like Squeaky, who is literally a giant bronze statue, can rout small enemy armies solo.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Of course Squeaky can conquer underwater provinces. He doesn’t need to breathe.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Scripting exactly what spells your wizards will cast is pretty in-depth Dominions stuff.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
My dog army has turned from cute to terrifying in short order. This is one of the best things about Dominions—there are so many interesting stats and details about any given suite of units that cooking up new strategies and swapping tactics mid-game really matters. Here’s a good example: Enemy massing a unit with a shield of fire surrounding it? Get pikemen, who can poke it from further out of the hot zone. It’s wargamers' wargame stuff that rewards attention to detail and fastidious planning.
That’s bad because no matter how swole they are, my dog dudes' very normal weapons have a hard time hurting ghosts. Like, a baseline 75% chance to just straight-up do nothing.
It’s also bad because I’ve been neglecting the second layer of Dominions' strategy. See, every province has a nation that physically controls it, but it can also fall under a Pretender’s Dominion. The Dominion is who holds spiritual power there. Who the populace worship effects reality in a province, for better or worse. The Dominion of Squeaky is mild: Everything’s a bit more orderly and it’s a bit warmer outside. The Dominion of Lemuria’s horrible god however brings profound misfortune, waves of disease and death, wintry chill, and to top it off spontaneously reanimates those thousands who died from war and disease as free undead for its war machine.
Conveniently for me the solution is the same for both: Priests. Priests will preach the power of Squeaky, obviously, and also build temples that will passively spread his power. Priests can also cast conveniently potent anti-undead and anti-demon spells.
Image1of8
Enemies summoning up horrors from beyond the veil? Ask your wizard about the Hidden Flame today.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Enemies summoning up horrors from beyond the veil? Ask your wizard about the Hidden Flame today.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Enemies summoning up horrors from beyond the veil? Ask your wizard about the Hidden Flame today.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Enemies summoning up horrors from beyond the veil? Ask your wizard about the Hidden Flame today.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Enemies summoning up horrors from beyond the veil? Ask your wizard about the Hidden Flame today.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Squeaky is a master of Nature magic so naturally we augmented this army with a horde of tigers.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Squeaky is a master of Nature magic so naturally we augmented this army with a horde of tigers.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Squeaky is a master of Nature magic so naturally we augmented this army with a horde of tigers.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Squeaky is a master of Nature magic so naturally we augmented this army with a horde of tigers.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Squeaky is a master of Nature magic so naturally we augmented this army with a horde of tigers.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The tigers kept our enemies in one place while we summoned some meteors on them.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The tigers kept our enemies in one place while we summoned some meteors on them.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The tigers kept our enemies in one place while we summoned some meteors on them.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The tigers kept our enemies in one place while we summoned some meteors on them.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
The tigers kept our enemies in one place while we summoned some meteors on them.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
That’s a lot of Satyrs.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
That’s a lot of Satyrs.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
That’s a lot of Satyrs.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
That’s a lot of Satyrs.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
That’s a lot of Satyrs.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I had to turn on the unit colors to follow this one. That’s me in yellow.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I had to turn on the unit colors to follow this one. That’s me in yellow.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I had to turn on the unit colors to follow this one. That’s me in yellow.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I had to turn on the unit colors to follow this one. That’s me in yellow.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
I had to turn on the unit colors to follow this one. That’s me in yellow.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
These much larger battles are the norm now for Dominions 6, which has really increased the spectacle—and the scale of slaughter.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
These much larger battles are the norm now for Dominions 6, which has really increased the spectacle—and the scale of slaughter.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
These much larger battles are the norm now for Dominions 6, which has really increased the spectacle—and the scale of slaughter.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
These much larger battles are the norm now for Dominions 6, which has really increased the spectacle—and the scale of slaughter.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
These much larger battles are the norm now for Dominions 6, which has really increased the spectacle—and the scale of slaughter.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
…though I didn’t go untouched here.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
…though I didn’t go untouched here.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
…though I didn’t go untouched here.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
…though I didn’t go untouched here.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
…though I didn’t go untouched here.(Image credit: Illwinter Game Design)
Oh, and Squeaky itself finally woke up and got moving. Not sure where my god-statue had gotten to—maybe lost it beneath the couch for a while. Long story short, Squeaky rolled in with a few old priests and a few young priests, went full-on exorcist on Lemuria, and within a dozen turns I was the proud owner of the vast stretch of worthless, lifeless wasteland where Lemuria once stood.
Games of Dominions, as they have for decades, start weird and get weirder. I’m delighted that Dominions 6 has made me a zealot once again.
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Alan Emrich, the game designer and writer who coined the term ‘4X,’ has died
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Civilization 7 senior historian prays it’ll be a ‘gateway drug’ into textbooks: ‘I teach undergraduates in my other life, and my God, man, they don’t read’
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