GamesActionGrand Theft AutoGTA 6 fan goes full noir detective to discover a random NPC’s sunscreen SPF in the most informatively unhinged wayWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
GamesActionGrand Theft AutoGTA 6 fan goes full noir detective to discover a random NPC’s sunscreen SPF in the most informatively unhinged wayWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Rockstar Games)
Title card: The Grand Theft Auto 6 Sunscreen Mystery. Fade in: Interior. A detective’s office. Shutters keep the glow of street lamps at bay. A lone figure paces around the room, kicking away cans of empty aerosol sunscreen that spill from an overflowing trash bin. They mutter to themself as they light up a cigarette. On a corkboard we see a map of Miami beach broadwalk, and a diagram charting the course of the Atlantic Coast sun. They’re close. They can taste it.
Ficerc’sthread on the game’s subreddit, titled: “What SPF sunscreen is being used in the GTA VI trailer? An in-depth analysis” has a level of research I can only describe as ‘obscene’.
“At this point, I’m sure we’ve all noticed the guy applying sunscreen in the new GTA VI trailer and thought, ‘What SPF are they wearing?'” writes ficerc, in the first of many assumptions that carry the rest of their essay. “Get ready for some SPF speculation—it’s gaming meets skincare investigation time!”
Stepping to the side of an otherwise masterclass shitpost: I feel like I should properly highlight that both these tables come from unsavoury places, which is unfortunate. I’d wager there was no harmintended—ficerc is trying to determine the SPF of sunscreen as a joke, and their original source (the Banana Boat table) is designed to help people avoid skin cancer risk (and sell sunscreen, though two things can be true at once). Still, it’s worth noting.
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In a feat of numbers sorcery, they compare their new table to the NPC from the trailer and figure out that she most likely has the “dark skin tone”, which Banana Boat recommends a SPF of 8-14 for one hour spent outdoors at the low end, and an SPF of 30 at the high end. “Now comes the tricky part.“Now?
The second half of the puzzle involves ficerc determining how many hours this NPC plans to stay outdoors—and to avoid spoilers (which this thing is big enough to have) I’m just going to link the thread here for your full perusal. It involves charting the course of the Miami Sun.
I’ll leave you with this comment, which I think sums up my feelings on this whole thing better than I can myself.One user writes: “As you scroll, the sad realisation that this must have taken hours to make starts to overshadow the satire of it.” ‘nuff said, BeerShitzAndBongRips, ‘nuff said.
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
GTA 6: Everything we knowGTA 5 mods: Revved upGTA 5 cheats: Phone it inGTA 6 cars: The lineupSan Andreas cheats: All the codes
TOPICSGrand Theft Auto 6Rockstar
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PRODUCTSGrand Theft Auto 6Grand Theft Auto
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