GamesActionI just squeezed more eggs in one hour than you have in your entire lifeWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
GamesActionI just squeezed more eggs in one hour than you have in your entire lifeWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Matter Games)
“You have been chosen as a volunteer for the ‘Egg Squeeze’ exam—a test that evaluates one’spsychokinetic intuitionof biological makeup. In each test, you will be asked tosqueeze an eggfor a short period of time. The objective is to estimate the egg’s unique breaking point and release your graspbefore it cracks. You will be graded relative to your synergy with the eggs.”
Thus reads the letter at the beginning ofEgg Squeeze, a game where you hold the mouse button to squeeze an egg and release the mouse button to stop squeezing it. That’s all you do. Squeeze an egg and stop squeezing that egg.
I’ve been playing it for, like, an hour.
The longer you squeeze, the further along the hidden meter you score, racking up points. Unless you squeezetoolong and the egg breaks, in which case you lose points. How do you know how long to squeeze for? You don’t, unless… you do? If you havesynergy, you’ll know just when to stop squeezing for the maximum multiplier. If you don’t, you’ll wind up with a handful of wet yolk.
(Image credit: Matter Games)
I’ll admit at this stage that I’m still not quite sure how Egg Squeeze determines how long I can squeeze an egg before it breaks. It doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to theawesome collection of musical tracks(or occasionally the disturbing dead silence) that accompanies my squeezes, nor the eventual on-screen “Eggmeter” that sweeps around like a radar at different speeds and contains a seemingly unrelated number between one and nine, nor the live chat window that eventually pops up where “viewers” say things like “Egg King” and “Sexy Egg” and “Egg Tuah,” nor the egg-themed game of Pong that begins playing itself during my squeezings, nor the little egg character named Buddy who stands smiling in the lower right corner of the screen saying helpful things like “NEED AN EGG?” and “YOU KILLED A LOT OF MY FRIENDS.”
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