This eye-searingly awful cryptocurrency Christmas jumper donates 50% of its profits to a good cause and I still don't want it

HardwareThis eye-searingly awful cryptocurrency Christmas jumper donates 50% of its profits to a good cause and I still don’t want itWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.

(Image credit: notjust clothing)

A cryptocurrency inspired ugly Christmas jumper resting serenely on a Christmas-inspired gradient

As the holiday season approaches, I’m sure many of us are looking for the perfect gift, or perhaps just something to wear to the office Christmas party to induce an appropriately aghast reaction.

In which case rejoice, dear readers, for I have been shown the true face of holiday cheer—and it’sthis vomitorious Christmas jumper.

Or sweater, if you’re on the other side of the Atlantic and really insist. It’s the perfect gift for the crypto fan in your life, or perhaps someone who’s recently become rich/broke off the back of the most recent run on gloriously intangible money that’s previouslycontributedto ruining graphics card pricing forever.

Bitter, moi? Still, this is actually for a good cause, or at least, half of it is. Notjust clothing promises that 50% of proceeds will be donated to mental health causes across the globe, so you can finally feel good about putting money towards something crypto-related.

Notjust describes itself as “a registered social enterprise built up of socially conscious creatives” that creates “ethical and sustainable products that drive positive social impact”, and cause an impact this jumper certainly does.

From the repeatingbitcoinmotif to the catchy crypto-inspired phrases around its mid-section, it’s certain to make all those around you very much aware of your internet money fascinations.

Or your desire to sear your colleague’s eyeballs with its fantastically ugly colour palette. There’s also a somewhat-matching bitcoincryptocurrencyscarf to “complete the look”, and even an ethereum version for those whose coin interests lie elsewhere.

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Call me old-fashioned if you like (or British, which is virtually the same thing), but if we’re going down the ugly Christmas jumper route I prefer thisPot Noodle-inspired little number:

(Image credit: notjust clothing)

A Pot Noodle Christmas jumper

Mmm, tasty. For those unaware, aPot Noodleis a horrendous-yet-somehow-good instant noodle snack, popular in the UK with students, the lazy, and the too drunk to cook.

All of which I’ve been at some point in my life, so my allegiance runs deep—as does my desire to take this years Ugly Christmas Jumper award from my hardware overlord Dave James, who’s already wearing hisgorgeous Intel model, just likenow-retiredex-CEO, Pat Gelsinger.

Should your tech-related Christmas jumper needs remain unfulfilled, Microsoft has some form in this regard. It’s previously released severalWindows-themed ugly sweatersfor the holiday season, although this year’s entry seemsmissingfrom its product page this year.

I’ll keep an eye out for any more ugly jumper entries between now and the big day itself, but I think the crypto-themed entry above has to take the crown for tech-related vomitknits of 2024 so far.

Best CPU for gaming: Top chips from Intel and AMD.Best gaming motherboard: The right boards.Best graphics card: Your perfect pixel-pusher awaits.Best SSD for gaming: Get into the game first.

Best CPU for gamingBest gaming motherboardBest graphics cardBest SSD for gaming

Best CPU for gaming: Top chips from Intel and AMD.Best gaming motherboard: The right boards.Best graphics card: Your perfect pixel-pusher awaits.Best SSD for gaming: Get into the game first.

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