When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.
(Image credit: Myhixel)
You’re buying more than just a sex toy though, says Myhixel. The Control is designed to help its users “control and prolong their ejaculation time while also improving their overall sexual health” via a gruelling 8-week gear grind to get your own sexy best-in-slot.
It’s a familiar time schedule for anyone who’s tried to gear up for endgame raids in an MMORPG. I have not tested the Myhixel to see if the ‘more DoTs!’ guy shows up to shout at you while you’re using it.
What’s more, the app has AI and machine learning in it—presumably to deliver a bespoke schedule that reacts to your unwanted Any% Myhixel speedrun. The company alleges that the data involved is “secure and anonymized”, which is somehow disappointing. I want this thing to have leaderboards and an active parsing community.
“Listen, this is the last time I’ll say it: you gotta take the cap off before you start using this thing."(Image credit: Myhixel)
If you want to see what the app looks like, here’s a TikTok from CES itself, courtesy ofHardwareZone. It frames your 8 weeks of scheduled use as a space expedition—for example, for your task on the planet Kronos I, you must “identify the muscles that tense during your stimulation with the Myhixel device.” You also get a statistics board with your first use and your best (longest) time recorded for you to compare.
The biggest gaming news, reviews and hardware deals
I mean, look. The AI torment nexus is vast and wide—and while I have my doubts as to the scientific validity of Myhixel’s claims, if someone wants to gamify their way to sexual health, who am I to judge? On the other hand, you can’t just say ‘gamify’ and not allow people to get competitive with it. For nearly 200 quid? I want leaderboards, I want 40-man raids, I want PvP. I want abattle pass.Get it done, Myhixel.
More about aiNvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missingLogitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucksLatestThe Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in AprilSee more latest►
More about aiNvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missingLogitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucksLatestThe Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in AprilSee more latest►
More about aiNvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missingLogitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucks
More about ai
Nvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missingLogitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucks
Nvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missing
Nvidia’s impressive AI-based computer tuneup tool G-Assist launches next month but the best bit is missing
Logitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucks
Logitech has announced an ‘intelligent streaming assistant’ in Streamlabs to tell you when your live stream sucks
LatestThe Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in AprilSee more latest►
Latest
The Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in April
The Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in April
The Last of Us season 2 trailer is a brief look at a story you should probably just play yourself in April
See more latest►
Most PopularMarvel Rivals' latest update quietly killed the game’s burgeoning mod sceneSorry everyone, Minecraft 2 is cancelled, and it might be our faultTeam Fortress 2 just had the single biggest trade in its history, with ‘the absolute best hat you can get’ going for around $40KIs the new RTX 5070 really as fast as Nvidia’s previous flagship RTX 4090 GPU? Turns out the answer is yes. Kinda.Elden Ring: Nightreign is getting a closed network test, and I’m totally not fuming because PC players aren’t invited to the party, or anythingIf you’re a content creator and gamer looking for a CPU upgrade, this Ryzen 9 9900X deal will get you $90 offAMD is now reportedly making all-American Ryzen 9000 CPU dies at TSMC’s Arizona fabI tried a sim racing rig that generates ‘wind’ at CES 2025 and it’s claimed to help keep VR nausea at bayFinal Fantasy 14 communities panic as it turns out change to blacklisting, meant to help reduce stalking, also lets players use mods to track their altsTikTok’s time in the US may be ticking to a close as it makes a last stand in the Supreme Court, though Trump now says he ‘opposes banning’ itMSI intros cheaper ‘back connect’ Project Zero Intel motherboards for super-clean PC builds you might actually be able to afford
Most PopularMarvel Rivals' latest update quietly killed the game’s burgeoning mod sceneSorry everyone, Minecraft 2 is cancelled, and it might be our faultTeam Fortress 2 just had the single biggest trade in its history, with ‘the absolute best hat you can get’ going for around $40KIs the new RTX 5070 really as fast as Nvidia’s previous flagship RTX 4090 GPU? Turns out the answer is yes. Kinda.Elden Ring: Nightreign is getting a closed network test, and I’m totally not fuming because PC players aren’t invited to the party, or anythingIf you’re a content creator and gamer looking for a CPU upgrade, this Ryzen 9 9900X deal will get you $90 offAMD is now reportedly making all-American Ryzen 9000 CPU dies at TSMC’s Arizona fabI tried a sim racing rig that generates ‘wind’ at CES 2025 and it’s claimed to help keep VR nausea at bayFinal Fantasy 14 communities panic as it turns out change to blacklisting, meant to help reduce stalking, also lets players use mods to track their altsTikTok’s time in the US may be ticking to a close as it makes a last stand in the Supreme Court, though Trump now says he ‘opposes banning’ itMSI intros cheaper ‘back connect’ Project Zero Intel motherboards for super-clean PC builds you might actually be able to afford
Most PopularMarvel Rivals' latest update quietly killed the game’s burgeoning mod sceneSorry everyone, Minecraft 2 is cancelled, and it might be our faultTeam Fortress 2 just had the single biggest trade in its history, with ‘the absolute best hat you can get’ going for around $40KIs the new RTX 5070 really as fast as Nvidia’s previous flagship RTX 4090 GPU? Turns out the answer is yes. Kinda.Elden Ring: Nightreign is getting a closed network test, and I’m totally not fuming because PC players aren’t invited to the party, or anythingIf you’re a content creator and gamer looking for a CPU upgrade, this Ryzen 9 9900X deal will get you $90 offAMD is now reportedly making all-American Ryzen 9000 CPU dies at TSMC’s Arizona fabI tried a sim racing rig that generates ‘wind’ at CES 2025 and it’s claimed to help keep VR nausea at bayFinal Fantasy 14 communities panic as it turns out change to blacklisting, meant to help reduce stalking, also lets players use mods to track their altsTikTok’s time in the US may be ticking to a close as it makes a last stand in the Supreme Court, though Trump now says he ‘opposes banning’ itMSI intros cheaper ‘back connect’ Project Zero Intel motherboards for super-clean PC builds you might actually be able to afford
Most Popular
Marvel Rivals' latest update quietly killed the game’s burgeoning mod scene
Sorry everyone, Minecraft 2 is cancelled, and it might be our fault
Team Fortress 2 just had the single biggest trade in its history, with ‘the absolute best hat you can get’ going for around $40K
Is the new RTX 5070 really as fast as Nvidia’s previous flagship RTX 4090 GPU? Turns out the answer is yes. Kinda.
Elden Ring: Nightreign is getting a closed network test, and I’m totally not fuming because PC players aren’t invited to the party, or anything
If you’re a content creator and gamer looking for a CPU upgrade, this Ryzen 9 9900X deal will get you $90 off
AMD is now reportedly making all-American Ryzen 9000 CPU dies at TSMC’s Arizona fab
I tried a sim racing rig that generates ‘wind’ at CES 2025 and it’s claimed to help keep VR nausea at bay
Final Fantasy 14 communities panic as it turns out change to blacklisting, meant to help reduce stalking, also lets players use mods to track their alts
TikTok’s time in the US may be ticking to a close as it makes a last stand in the Supreme Court, though Trump now says he ‘opposes banning’ it
MSI intros cheaper ‘back connect’ Project Zero Intel motherboards for super-clean PC builds you might actually be able to afford
HARDWARE BUYING GUIDESLATEST GAME REVIEWS1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review4Ikea Utespelare desk review5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
HARDWARE BUYING GUIDESLATEST GAME REVIEWS1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review4Ikea Utespelare desk review5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
HARDWARE BUYING GUIDESLATEST GAME REVIEWS1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review4Ikea Utespelare desk review5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
HARDWARE BUYING GUIDESLATEST GAME REVIEWS1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review4Ikea Utespelare desk review5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
HARDWARE BUYING GUIDESLATEST GAME REVIEWS
1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads
1Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads
1
Best Steam Deck accessories in Australia for 2025: Our favorite docks, powerbanks and gamepads
2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop
2Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop
2
Best graphics card for laptops: the mobile GPUs I’d want in my next gaming laptop
3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most
3Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most
3
Best mini PCs in 2025: The compact computers I love the most
4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands
4Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands
4
Best 14-inch gaming laptop: The top compact gaming laptops I’ve held in these hands
5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested
5Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested
5
Best Mini-ITX motherboards in 2025: My pick from all the mini mobo marvels I’ve tested
1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits
1Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits
1
Thank Goodness You’re Here! review: An anarchic treasure trove of jokes and skits
2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback
2Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback
2
Shiren the Wanderer: The Mystery Dungeon of Serpentcoil Island review—like juggling chainsaws on horseback
3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review
3WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review
3
WD Black SN850X 8 TB NVMe SSD review
4Ikea Utespelare desk review
4Ikea Utespelare desk review
4
Ikea Utespelare desk review
5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
5Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
5
Asus ROG Harpe Ace Mini wireless mouse review
