GamesThird Person ShooterHelldivers 2Wake up! These spider-looking phenomena just spotted on Mars are clearly Helldivers 2 bugs preparing for a surprise attackWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.

GamesThird Person ShooterHelldivers 2Wake up! These spider-looking phenomena just spotted on Mars are clearly Helldivers 2 bugs preparing for a surprise attackWhen you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.Here’s how it works.

(Image credit: ESA/TGO/CaSSIS, Arrowhead Game Studios)

Helldivers soldier in front of satellite imagery of Mars

Stop me if you’ve heard one of these lines of propaganda before.Bugs can’t fly. The Automatonshaven’t developed aerial gunships yet. There’s no such thing asa heavy machine gun. These imagesfrom the surface of Marsare just “seasonal eruptions of carbon dioxide gas,” not thousands of alien spiders gathering for an imminent attack on us, the good citizens of Super Earth.

Yeah, right.

“The formations are actually channels of gas measuring 0.03 to 0.6 miles (45 meters to 1 kilometer) across. They originate when the weather starts to warm in the southern hemisphere during Martian spring, melting layers of carbon dioxide ice. The warmth causes the lowest layers of ice to turn to gas, or sublimate.”

At PC Gamer, we’re not so easily fooled. After months of Arrowhead Studios' lies and deception, we recognize a mounting Helldivers threat when we see one. Clearly the bugs have made it to the Sol System—we recognize a scuttling horde of vile Terminids when we see them.

Suspiciously, there’s zero mention of this impending threat on any of Arrowheads' social media channels. Not so much as a clue as to the dire threat that awaits Super Earth. Ha! What better proof of a cover-up? Arrowhead’s recent orderspitting the community against wave after wave of Automatonsis clearly misdirection from the real threat, which will be sprung upon us any day now.

While they may not have been able to see through game master Joel’s devious ruse, we applaud our fellow writers at Live Science and the European Space Agency for detecting this threat before it reaches us. With luck, our bravest helldivers will soon be en route to Mars to eradicate this so-called “carbon dioxide gas” threat with theirmost trusty tools: shotguns, explosives, and orbital bombardments.

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